There was a village deity in the hamlet to which there was an annual sacrifice of a goat. The village contributed collectively. Naren would not go for the festival, as he disagreed with the sacrifice. He would contribute his share for the celebrations, including the goast though. And i argued with the 'inconsistancy'. I was 29 then.
Now i am 49, and i would do the same as he. I would like goats not killed ( just as I would like urbanites to stop driving cars and thus stop burning holes inthe ozone layer). I would otherwise go with the local community as i know the value of local traditions and customs, and the way they knit and anchor. And I know I as an outsider have neither the total understanding, nor right to interfere beyond a point
...except where I feel i have to - and that would be maybe the menace of drink.
Narayana Sarma 'People' here wouldn't expect me to take a share in such things Aparna, a) because of Caste factor- I am a brahmin, 'they'd' respect my sentiments and let me be. And b) 'They' know I 'd oppose it tooth and nail. And I have learnt seeing Naren also.
Aparna Krishnan I see no valid reason to oppose a goat sacrifice, more than opposing the crazy city consumerism which is destroying at a stroke whole lifeforms by destroying habitats.
Just because i cannot take on the urban consumer due to my weakness, I do not intend to go and moralize to the polite villager. Spare me.
...
Narayana Sarma Why can't I " become one " with the "people"? Why am I always "the outsider"? Who brands me, but my own self? Why am I constantly looking at stuff as 'me' and 'they'?
Aparna Krishnan Narayana Sarma the integration our village gave us has been complete. Yet, does not our very asset base, whether personal, or through a well off family we can reach out to, seperate us from them ? Also our English education closes some doors and opens some others. All said I have learnt to try to understand their reality through their perspective more and more.
We are vastly alienated by our education, our better resources, and our world view itself (do you honestly beleive in mantrams and antrams and dishti ?). Much as we can integrate, much as we have integrated, yet, a certian gap stays them.
A bond of affection and understanding and mutual respect and place for humour can get established, and that i think is what I would find most essential.
I could not ask for more from my village in terms of acceptance and integration. Still the English-educated person does have a different world view, which it takes a long long time to chisel down. And then it would need a deeper effort also I think. Over time many facets of village life and perspectives opened out as I learnt to listen more and say less. And I realised that this was but the tip.
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