Gold Earrings for Kavya.
(The Rich need to give away their gold, as
they were only Trustees …)
Years taught me that for the poor, gold and
silver are very important. When they have a little money they buy silver
anklets for the girl child and a gold nose ring. They try to save up for
bigger items. These are publicly given to the girl at the coming of age
ceremony or during marriage, and it is streedhan. It is her strength, and is
always returned to her in any eventuality. The husband cannot pilfer it away.
This is pawned in hard times, and always redeemed thro' slow and tired
installments.
It takes so long to
understand another world. In my initial
years in the village, I told people that they should invest in education of the
girl child, and not in gold. Over years I saw that the people struggle to also
educate the girl child, and also to secure her with some small asset. And they
did not need my pontification. Those days I berated everyone against the 'excess
expenses' of 'unnecessary ceremonies'. Over time I became part of the functions
and festivities, as I had to as one of the village, I sensed the deep community
bonding that develops out of each of these. As I applied turmeric of Nandini
during her ceremony, as did everyone else, it was being part of the child's
life through another significant step - and that is how in a village every
adult feels close to and responsible for every child . Also when puberty is
thus celebrated, the process of menstruation is taken as a normal event by the
child herself, and also the community. All these were learnings for me, from an
urban upbringing, where all this was unthinkable.
Varalu called me up and told me that Kavya had
come of age. This is a significant event in a village, and there are associated
ceremonies. This is also when a girl child starts acquiring some assets in her
name. She would ideally get a pair of small gold earrings, or something more,
or something less, as would be the family situation. This will stay her own
through life, as it would be given publicly and acknowleged publicly. So
through her marriage also this would be her own asset – a certain form of
security. Kavya, orphaned, and with Eashwaramma as her caretaker would not have
anything. But basic processes would be followed.
My friend came and gave me a pair of gold earrings, her own
daughter's, and a nosering for Kavya, Eashwaramma's granddaughter. Orphaned,
and brought up by an assetless grandmother, this will be her one single asset
to date. Gi ven publicly, it will be her own property which even her husband
cannot claim. The little bit of gold is very valuable to the poor, and
especially the woman. It is pawned in hard times, and is always slowly and painfully
redeemed. The fact that they have some asset gives them a confidence even in
their later life.
I spoke to Kavya now, and told her that there were the pair of
earrings for her given by Debolina madam'. She said 'Auna' ('Really ?') happily. Then I told her
'gold earrings', and her voice went hushed as she repeated it, and then shouted
that to her grandmother Eashwaramma, 'Avva, bangaaram kammalu' ('Grandmother,
gold earrings'). Eashwaramma's voice was also deeply happy.
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